Stoic no more ...

My father was a stoic.In his work at the Philadelphia Naval yard , where he worked building and repairing naval vessels in war and peace time , he often suffered cuts , burns , and slivers of steel into his hands ... I know because I saw him treating his injuries, often at the kitchen table during the 1950's. I think that's how I learned that you don't go to Doctor's , unless the pain is so bad you can't stand up, or the bleeding just won't stop.The first treatment of myself that I recall was using a sewing needle to pry a pyramid shaped piece of clear glass out of a finger, where it had become lodged.Actually I was so entranced by what I was doing, I don't think it really hurt.When the local Doc came to our house, after tetanus set in after stepping on a nail, and keeping it to myself; Well that was some real pain when he carved out the wound twice without anesthetic. I clearly remember him saying "you can scream all you want , But don't move " , and I did scream loud and plenty ! But of course , as instructed , I did not move ... I remember smashing my forehead into concrete, on at least three separate occasions before I was eight years old , and there could have been more, that I have finally forgotten... That's a kind of pain that is in a distinct category , all by it's self.Around eleven or twelve I flew over the handle bars of my one new bike , and not wanting to hear that brain slosh sound again ( I fear it even now ), I stuck my arm out to fend off the street from my head, and sure enough it broke.A nice clean, straight across fracture of my right radius. The two U-turns at Chestnut Hill hospital suggested " Anesthesia will make you too sick to eat dinner, so you don' need it right? ". It only took about fifteen seconds to set the bone , but that was the worst pain a human being can feel. My whole existence turned into an exceedingly bright light , and the light was all total pain...I was introduced to Migraine on or about my twenty first birthday . They got worse until I was about 48 and then they eased off to,Oh no! Here we go again ! I remember almost breaking into tears, when I was about 32 , and I knew one was coming . Some women have indicated that they are similar to the pain of child birth , only the baby (in my case)was coming out of behind my left eye ! Once I recall getting a round about codeine capsule , and I was so happy to be spared (Just Once, until then ). The bottom line is over the years I had learned to accept pain without cursing or making loud noises... For instance , I trained myself to yell " God Bless America!!! " if I hit my thumb with a hammer. And as I often got severely pulled muscles, and back strains at work, as long as I could stand , or use the other arm , I would just keep smiling , with my nose to the grind stone.Of course that is by no means a complete list of my physical agonies ,and none were so bad or frequent as my psychological injuries. No more will I hide my pain . That's one reason I knew it was time to leave the work place.I felt a sense of honesty overwhelming me.I began to feel like screaming a demonstration of how I felt about the pain inflicted on me, be it physical or mental! I could be" Stoic No More!" And you must know , you can't walk around telling the truth , without risking your own crucifixion! Honesty had finally got the best of me! Now I find that I am a stranger , in a strange land.....