" Oh , I'll just have a salad..."

A salad?!! In 1950 I was ten years old.My sainted mother had reached her fiftieth year and she was raising her seventh child, an after thought, a replacement son? She and my strong,stoic father had lost their blond, blue eyed wonder kind to Carcinoma amidst the Great Depression of the 1930's... Although I was not blond , or for that matter perfect at birth,they gave me love and sustenance enough to grow to average height for the age.....Our family was the kind of "Meat and potatoes" type , you may have heard of in the past. And as I recall,a lot of it was boiled... Even Chicken! In the summer of 1956,I tasted " Southern Fried Chicken" for the first time.My girl friends mother didn't seem to mind that I was such a pig!...My Mom liked to grow vegetables and one year strawberries,in our swath of green behind our post WWII tiny tract house.I had the honor of making sure that all were well watered as needed.She grew some mighty fine tomatoes , as well as String Beans, ( and in those days , they really had strings...).String Beans are a green vegetable that I loved then and now,albeit I detested Tomatoes then,and still do.Everyone else on the face of the earth loved tomatoes!Or, so I thought for many years...As a young boy,in a world of tomato worshipers,I dreamed of fitting in.So, toward each summers swan song, usually in the evening after diner, I would hide with a big red tomato!After gathering the courage of my convictions, I would take a big bite! And Wow!! It was always the same! Ugh!! Pew ! Spit! Spit!! No more of that!Ever!! Once in awhile I recall my parents having Lettuce,and maybe some fresh sliced onion in a sand which, and I shied away from onions too.What I don't remember at our dinner table was a salad bowl.....When I was sixteen my best friend was Bob. Bob was the eldest son of in retrospect , a classic Southern Italian family.His father was the best Carpenter since Joseph.But I learned he was a person who was a master of all construction trades and skills .In the summer I spent so much time in and around Bob's house you would have thought that I had rented a room there.Consequently, on one very hot August evening , I saw Bob's Father( Yes, his name was Anthony, and no one called him "Tony", ever!)without his shirt on. I was shocked!I could not believe my young, myopic eyes! His 40 something year old chest and arm's looked like an Anatomical Figure in a Biology book I had gotten a hold of !! He was wiry of course, a man of small stature,but every single muscle group could have been pointed to by an Anatomist,without lifting the skin off! The real surprise was to come when he set about fixing himself a little dinner... You must know it had to start with a salad, or at least now I know it was a salad.He started by putting what seemed like a half a head of lettuce in a commodious bowl.Then a couple of tomatoes,pieces of onion,and sliced cucumbers. At least that's all I can remember. After that came a half of a roasted chicken, some sausage, and I don't know what all, but there must have been bread too.Strangely enough , he did not wash it down with wine, but instead Rolling Rock beer...Tempis fugit,I awoke with my nose in something cool and wet? I was to come to find out it was French dressing.Apparently a night of under age drinking had wound up in a restaurant that was open until Three... Sunny Miller, The Golden Gloves Champ from Kentucky,remembered that just as the harried waitress slid the wooden bowl in front of me,I was suddenly not awake! Memory fails me , but I don't think I ate the lettuce.Even though in later years I came to enjoy Americas favorite " French Dressing ". Still immature in many ways that kept me an adolescent at twenty six,I found myself on a "blind date".An older woman ( maybe 45 )was a neighbor who I exchanged an occasional anecdote with and comments on the weather, Told me more than once that I should meet Rachelle...My small friendship with the neighbor lady was such a bright spot in my lonely life that reinforcement of the relationship was a prime goal for me.She was a school teacher and had also done extensive volunteer work with The Red Cross,which she was very proud of.So a date was planned.Her sister met me at the door and as red flags waved in my head,I thought "Whoa!! Way too young!".Then Rachelle pranced into the room Ala Loretta Young! I was relieved and stunned at the same time!She was the picture of youth full confidence and poise , not to mention her red hair.On the way to the restaurant she spoke of studying the Real Estate field, and how she was soon to be off to California to make her fortune.The word sophisticate rolled around my mind as we were seated in the best restaurant in Asburry Park,New Jersey.As she scanned the menu,I prayed she would not order something to break my bank.So I almost sighed aloud when she said " Oh! I'll just have a salad ".And I thought a salad?! That must be how she keeps such a pert and dandy figure...Yes,she told the waiter"I'll just have the Turkey Salad." When we were served, for the first time in my life I became aware of what the modern salad had become! First off it arrived on an eight inch platter, such as you might see displayed with pride in someones home at Thanks Giving!And nestled in the midst of three kinds of lettuce,sliced radishes,onions,green and red peppers,mushrooms, sliced tomato's,and I don't know what all, was half of a chopped up turkey!!! Just a salad?!!